Monday, June 27, 2011

I am ashamed.

I love my kids. I seem to talk about them on here a lot but since it is my blog I guess that is ok. I have to tell you that something has happened in the past few months that has made me ashamed.

In the spring two of the boys wanted to play soccer and so we signed them up. I have a love/hate relationship with our local parks and rec program so we did this with mixed feelings. We requested a certain coach and we didn't end up on his team. I wasn't thrilled with the situation. We liked our new coach but we *I* was tired of having a new coach and new team every single season. So we played the season we some mixed emotions and the one great thing about it was we met some new people and the kids made some great friends.

In particular there was one little girl on the team that one of our boys liked. He is a pretty outgoing kid so this doesn't really surprise me. But I am still a mom and he is still my baby and well he isn't really old enough to like,like a girl...I am told that denial is a great place to live.

So this sweet girl and my not so little boy would talk. Being our child I guess it should not surprise me that one of the things he would talk about was our church. Remember the invite card post? At the end of the season we moms were talking and she said "We are coming to your church tomorrow. Girly wants to see what it is like to go to church in a movie theater. G says it is neat."

This sweet family starts coming to church and one Sunday Tim talked about salvation and baptism. Mom talks to Tim and shares that little girl is ready to be baptized. Today we "borrowed" a pool and stood around with family and friends and watched as this sweet child demonstrated her love of Jesus.

Once again I cried. I have cried at my two oldest boy's baptism. I have cried at every child's baptism since we started this church. I don't know if I am getting older and more emotional. I don't know if I am finally realizing what a sweet aroma this step is to our Lord. I do know that today as the tears came they weren't simply tears of joy. The tears today were an offering to Jesus. They came because I was ashamed that my child did something that I didn't do myself. They invited this family to church and encouraged them to come.

You see the boys didn't just mention church one time. The mentioned it weekly. I will talk to people about church but if they don't show an interest, I move on to more comfortable topics. I will invite strangers to church but those acquaintances not so much. What if they don't like it? What if they don't like me? What if? I realized today that Satan had been using my pride to keep me from doing what I should be doing.

A while back I was chatting with CPQ and she said "I, too, am truly convinced that God gives you what you need in your kids to show you what you are truly made of..." I am finding this to be so true. Jesus is using my boys to show me that when we truly love Him we can't stop sharing about him. It just overflows out of our lives.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you. So many times my daughter puts me to shame. She wrote personal notes to nearly every child in her class inviting them to VBS and telling them how much she would love to see them there. Not once did I follow up with the parents. Not once did I make sure they knew the dates and place. I simply chalked it up to "cute" child-like faith. But child-like faith isn't meant to be "cute." It's meant to be imitated. May we be as courageous as our children!