For Better For Worse

Timbo reminded me the other day as  I was sobbing over something minor  we were having a heart to heart that September is always an emotional month for us.  I don't know why it seems to surprise me when it happens but it does every.single.year.  I am shocked when my emotions begin to ramp up at the beginning of the month and they continue through the month until October and fall rolls around.

This year I am making the effort to realize that I am going to be emotional over little things, my husband is more stressed than normal this month, my boys really don't understand why but they also experience the effects of our higher stress level.  So I am committing to taking deep breaths and praying more.

I am trying to structure our days this month with some margin.  This is going to be a little bit difficult.  We are busy right now but I know that we need to find some time to pull in and have some family time.  I have to make time for both the boys and Tim and most of all for me to meditate on God's goodness.  The thing I can miss the most during our busyness and stress is the goodness of God and how he has carried us through this month for the last 14 years.  Every single year since September 1998 we have relived and remembered our loss.

September for us will always remind us of the vows "for better, for worse".  In 1998 we experienced on of the worst things any parent can experience.  In 2006 we experience the joy and a "for better" moment.  It would be nice if the better cancelled out the worse.  The reality is that isn't the way it works.  It is in the worse that we can know the fullness of God's power.  It is also in the worse that we can experience the comfort that comes from knowing the one who holds us and the one who offers the ultimate comfort of experiencing his peace and grace.